So many things, so little time, and long overdo...

...but we make time when we can. At least that is what i have been doing these past couple weeks as i have been swamped with all things: AW. For all steps forward, and basking in the glory of, we cannot close our eyes to the reality that we may have to endure some step backwards. More on this in a bit.

The weather has been downright gorgeous and has me itching for Spring. Not necessarily experiencing Spring fever merely starting to think about things to do in milder weather. Bicycling (i have done some in the Winter months but it just doesn't feel good on the joints), disc golf, hiking, etc. are all on my melon HARD. February is a long month is year and it is still winter here in Nebraska so I am not setting myself up for disappointment if I start to see a few flakes this weekend. Superbowl weekend. It snuck up on me. I really must have been distracted (necessarily so) when big blue rematch with the patriots this Sunday. It should be a great game. And after AW falls asleep i should be able to watch the entire second half uninterrupted. We shall see. Go BIG BLUE!

AW entered my life when I was still in a definite state of transition: emotionally, vocationally, and physically. Last Summer, I lost 35 of the 50 lbs goal i had set for myself the previous February of '11. For the record, glycemic index is no joke. Totally ramped up my losses in both overall weight and definitely body fat percentage. Coming from the family i did, where the cure all to every ailment was fresh air and plenty of food, an over sized appetite is encoded in my DNA. But using the glycemic index allows me to trick my body (more precisely my brain) into thinking i have totally binged. At this point i know my stomach has shrunk down some because i get fuller faster even on my cheat days. There's a funny side story to this.
This past July a friend of mine egged me on to enter a taco challenge at a local bar here in the capitol. We would meet up there on Sundays as the bar had a super sweet deal on tacos. I adjust my cheat day of the week to Sundays so i could indulge in some tacos and beer and not feel too guilty. In a span of twenty minutes or so I would run through some 12-15 tacos. So my buddy did some math and researched the bar's then current record of tacos eaten in an hour: 34.

So low and behold the "S----- vs. Tacos" event hit Facebook and within a matter of a week over 100 friends hit "join." So it was crunch time, pardon the pun. Now normally I would have chuckled off a challenge of 35 tacos in an hour. But the fact remained that due to my dieting my stomach did shrink up a bit. So I was worried that I would not be able to do this as easily as i may have been able to before dieting. Now that this was becoming more and more a public event the competitive side of me knew i had to step up my game. The twenty four hours before the event i did what i had to to temporarily expand my stomach. This involved eating an entire large pizza and drinking nearly two gallons of Gatorade and green tea. The morning of the event i evacuated my entire system and showed up at the bar starving. In the battle of tacos I was victorious having broken the record with 35. Plus, after finishing I was able to enjoy two pints of Ranger IPA. Needless to say, I will not be returning to defend my record anytime soon.

So despite my own version of man vs. food i was able to reach the fall having lost 35 pounds. A bit short of my goal but honestly my goal was very ambitious. Besides, weight that is lost slower tends not to rebound back. All my life my weight hasn't yo-yo'd so I didn't want to start then (or now). The winter has seen my gain back some pounds, 8 to be precise, but this is most due in part to my work with AW and not having the free time necessary to hit the gym as regularly as I would like. I find ways of sneaking in a workout here and there, for example, living on the third floor I always jog up the flights of stairs and never walk. When I check the mail i jog to and from the mailboxes. Before bed, i plank and do crunches. There is always a way of sneaking in some exercise. I'll be the first to admit since I'm an outdoors person i tend to find more ways of sneaking exercise in by just being outside more. But the Spring is coming damn it. So if it flakes in February so be it.

AW has been in the forefront of all things on my daily and weekly to-dos. The support he needs warrants such and that is part of my job. Being a DSP means much more than merely managing the life and care of a special needs person. It means wearing many hats: mentor, friend, boss, big brother and sometimes a supplement to a father figure that might have never really existed before. True, my days of switching hats does leave me tired and spent on more days than not. But when I do finally settle down at night and sleep peacefully knowing i have done something positive for AW. With me, AW can be more independent and participate more in his own life. There might not be all the warm fuzzies that came from being a teacher back in the day. AW does let me know that my work is appreciated. Of course, that's when I'm not being a bitch! lol

SYS

For first days back, today was not too shabby!

As a direct support professional serving a companion 17 years old I am super happy that school is back in session this week. Not that the last two weeks were really hell for either of us, but I could tell there was a certain claustrophobia occurring between us. For AW (my companion, as we refer to clients in the company I work with), getting back to a solid routine centered around school is a great thing. AW did really well with the holidays overall which was a blessing considering the holidays can be particularly stressful for individuals with special needs. But together with a mix of patience, maintaining an easy-going agenda and plenty of time management the two weeks seemed to cruise along.

In a future post, I'm not exactly sure when yet, I will introduce you all to AW. He is a unique individual whom I provide 24/7 direct support for. Initially, when I took him on as an assignment I was also working as a vocational coach for another individual with special need during the day while AW was in school. Finally, back in December a replacement was found to take over my assignment as vocational coach so I could dedicate full time (actually a lot more than full time, lol) to AW. But more on AW and how I came to know him some other time.

January continues to pitch a knuckle curve of weather at the moment although I have heard from several separate sources that we will soon get back to more wintery and blustery conditions. I'm no stranger to mild nor absolutely frigid winters having been born and raised and lived in NY for 30 years before arriving in NE. Some of my fondest memories of winter involve both. I remember in my sophomore year in college during winter break my buddies and I took a train ride in to Manhattan so we could go to central park to play frisbee in shorts and teva sandals. That very next year we received three separate blizzards and everyone couldn't wait for the Spring thaw. Everything is relative to one's experience. Here in NE I had a similar dose of the familiar as much of the week leading up to St. Amateur Drunkiness Day was spent in shorts and t-shirts while the very next year we were under a foot of snow. The later year I was quite happy to be snowed in at a pub. Winter is winter and despite the uncomfort of cold, season are a great thing for me. I couldn't see myself being in a place, no matter how beautiful, without changing seasons and weather. Of course, I hear from experts on the subject that if I spent a week or two in Hawaii I would come back and constantly ask myself why the hell am I living here. The grass may seem greener, but is it really?

College football is wrapping up tonight and the NFL wildcard playoffs are completed. Not too much longer until the scent of fresh cut grass begins to fill the air and we have a long season of pitchers and catchers. I for one am looking forward to getting back in the saddle of my Tomac again. And I have even contemplated about building a single speed rig this summer. Ah, but I have time to make up my mind on that. Besides, February can be a damn cold one too!

SYS

It's been quite a while coming.

As this is a return for me after some time away, I would like to take the opportunity to say, "Hello again!" You may have read about my life and adventures at Mended Meanderer and before that over at Walking Wounded (the very first blog I created).

While I was away lots has happened. Some good and some not so good. But even the not so good has left me with a greater understanding of myself. I'm more in tune to what makes me happy, purposeful, engaged, passionate. Basically what makes me tick. In coming posts, I will bring you all up to speed. But most of my focus for PP will be on the here and now while moving forward being mindful of the future. I know I tend to be verbose. But, really, that's what this is all about. So I guess I will refrain from feeling the need to apolgize to my readers. If you choose to follow me again then I must not annoy you quite that much. lol.

Since it has been a while since I have written for "me" (after all expressing oneself is very self fulfilling) I will attempt to post as often as I can. Once I get back into the swing of things and the mindset I'm sure I will become a regular rolling stone of prose. Or at least that is my goal - to share and share often with readers old and new.

Until next time, take care. I'm happy to be back! ;-)

SYS